


Please, say no/yes to this.

by Readingfanfics



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Read the notes please, but happy ending in the end, but more feelings and talking, some smut, then it gets a whole lot sad, this begins sort of bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:50:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readingfanfics/pseuds/Readingfanfics
Summary: Greg knew something was seriously wrong a moment too late. He wanted to blame it on his 3 glasses of red wine but he couldn't, not really. He'd known something was off the minute Sherlock approached him at the function. Looking stunning in his black suit with shiny purple shirt, the buttons at the top begging for release.“I want you to fuck me Greg.”Greg thinks all his dreams are coming true, but Sherlock isn't being totaly honest.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been a while in the making. The work title for this one has been 'almost rape fic' for a long time but I need to tell you all that there is NO RAPE. Sherlock does do things that he isn't really ready for but as soon as Greg finds out he stops what they are doing. This is more about hurt/comfort/talking then sex/smut (though there is some sex/smut in it). 
> 
> If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask me over on readingfanficswrites or KallistoIndrani@hotmail.com.  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greg knew something was seriously wrong a moment too late. He wanted to blame it on his 3 glasses of red wine but he couldn't, not really. He'd known something was off the minute Sherlock approached him at the function. Looking stunning in his black suit with shiny purple shirt, the buttons at the top begging for release.

 

“I want you to fuck me Greg.”

 

Greg had almost choked in his wine, that damned third glass, as Sherlock's warm breath wrapped around his ear. Sherlock had stood too close behind his back, pushing his groin against Greg's arse and Greg had bit his lip, keeping the obscene moan inside. He took another sip, shaking his head as Sherlock pushed again, Greg's cock already ready to explode.

 

“You're drunk Sherlock. You need to go to bed.”

 

Greg had turned, trying to act calm and firm but Sherlock had stepped even closer, his lips near Greg's, the tip of Sherlock's tongue licking his lower lip as his hands slid down Greg's biceps.

 

“I'm not drunk. I just want you to take me home, that's all. Take me home and fuck me Greg.”

 

Sherlock's hand had palmed Greg's dick at the word fuck and Greg had seen stars, almost dropping his glass. Sherlock had given him a smirk, at least Greg was sure at the time it was a smirk, stepping away and walking to the door, gesturing at Greg to follow him.

 

If he'd taken a moment to stop and think he would have figured out how unusual Sherlock's behaviour was. The man had never before even spoken of sex, let alone stand so close to him or even touch him. He didn't even know Sherlock could flirt, or seduce anyone with just two lines and a dick grab. Hell, he didn't even know Sherlock was gay!

 

Greg had been fascinated with Sherlock since the moment they met at the Yard, now almost 3 years ago. It had been physical at first, Sherlock was stunning in a weird sort of way. Tall and lean, with muscles in just the right places, pale skin that begged to be marked, lush lips with a ridiculous Cupid's bow, alien coloured eyes that saw everything about everyone. Those sharp, smooth cheekbones that just asked to be licked and kissed. He had a posh attitude about him that made people curious but also a little afraid. Sherlock seemed more then human with a sharp mind and clever mouth that could cut you into pieces in a matter of seconds.

 

Greg still didn't know why Sherlock had chosen to work with him, he found out much later then Sherlock had requested to work with Greg and his team and no one else, but he was grateful. Sherlock could be a prick at times but he was smart and fast, seeing all the details that matter and ignoring everything else. Greg was sure Sherlock knew Greg's attraction to him from the start but he never commented on it. Other people weren't so lucky, deducing their darkest, dirtiest fantasies, sometimes with Sherlock in them, for everyone to hear. It wasn't pretty and Greg wanted to strangle him at times but he couldn't deny he liked the man. Faults and all.

 

He drank the last of his glass, placing it down and following Sherlock outside, somehow knowing this couldn't end well but doing it anyway.

 

The cab ride home had been maddening, Sherlock's hands everywhere, whispering dirty words in Greg's ear. Greg had a hard on all the way to Sherlock's flat, wanting to take him right there in the cab.

 

“I'd let you Greg, right here in the back seat. Give the driver a show.” Sherlock whispered, licking Greg's ear as his hand wandered to Greg's cock again. He couldn't suppress the dirty sound and turned red as the driver gave them a hard look.

 

“Sherlock stop it!”

 

He swatted Sherlock's hand away, and heard the man chuckle lightly next to him, his hand resting too high on Greg's thigh, thumb stroking up and down.

 

When they finally, _finally_ were inside, stumbling up the stairs as eager teenagers, Greg practically jumped Sherlock, pushing him against the door as soon as it closed. He kissed him hard and sloppy, lip tracing that Cupid's bow, biting down on that lush lower lip. Sherlock let out a tiny sound and Greg felt a spark of lust and pride shoot inside his body as his hands worked fast to get Sherlock naked.

 

“Fuck Sherlock!”

 

Greg cursed, finding it hard to breath as Sherlock turned the attention on him, taking control of the kiss and letting out another tiny sound as he angled his head, deepening the kiss. Greg felt rock hard, still not sure if this was really happening when Sherlock's cool fingers touched his chest, nipples turning hard from the coldness of the room. Sherlock's hands went up and down his chest, pinching a nipple and Greg arched his back, gripping Sherlock's arms tightly as Sherlock kissed him again.

 

“Sherlock. I. Oh god. Are you- are you sure?”

 

Sherlock didn't answer and Greg wanted to speak up again but then Sherlock dropped to his knees, opening up his fly and zipper and Greg lost all ability to speak, let along think.

 

It was almost too much, seeing Sherlock in front of him on his knees, that lush mouth inches away from his hard cock. He wanted Sherlock to look up, see those beautiful eyes but Sherlock just took a deep breath, grabbing Greg's cock and taking it inside his mouth. Greg saw stars as his cock was wrapped in that wed heat, Sherlock's tongue licking and teasing him, sucking him just the way he liked it. He couldn't control himself and bucked up, Sherlock making a strangled noise before hollowing out his cheeks and taking him deeper.

 

Greg's knees shook as Sherlock worked him to his climax, it was embarrassing just how fast he got there but he wasn't at all young and it had been a while since someone had sucked him off. Not to mention it was Sherlock bloody Holmes, the most beautiful man he'd ever met. He made panting, his hands finding Sherlock's hair and pulling it, guiding Sherlock's movements as he felt the pressure build.

 

“Fuck, Sherlock! Sherlock, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm Sherlock!”

 

He screamed Sherlock's name as he came, fingers pulling Sherlock's curls as his whole body shook. He came down panting deeply, looking down and seeing tears near Sherlock's eyes.

 

“Sherlock? Are you okay?”

 

He tried to lift Sherlock's face, see his eyes but Sherlock got up, shaking his head, letting out a quiet 'I'm fine' before turning and heading to the bedroom. Already taking of his suit jacket and dropping it to the floor.

He should have known. Should have known that something was wrong with all of this as soon as Sherlock got up and started stripping. He followed after tugging himself in, still dazed and turned on as he entered the bedroom. He was mildly disappointed that Sherlock was already taking off his pants, pulling the sheets off to lay down on it. He'd wanted to take his time to undress Sherlock, kiss every inch of revealed, pale skin. Lick and suck that gorgeous body as he made his way down to Sherlock's cock. Making Sherlock moan and tremble, brain shutting down by his caresses and kisses.

 

He closed the door, only faintly seeing Sherlock on the bed as there was a soft light from the nightstand. He reached out for the light switch but Sherlock's voice stopped him.

 

“Don't! Come here Greg, come here and take me. I'm ready.”

 

There was a tiny whisper in the back of Greg's mind as he walked closer to Sherlock, taking off the remainder of his clothes before getting in bed. He tried to figure out what was setting him off, what was wrong but then Sherlock reached out, hands going over Greg's body and he felt on fire again.

 

“Oh Sherlock.”

 

He pulled Sherlock on top of him, his hands finding Sherlock's arse and grabbing it tightly. He'd been dreaming about touching and squeezing it for years and it was even better then he'd imagend. He went in for another kiss but Sherlock turned his head, leaving kisses and licks on his neck instead, biting down from time to time, making Greg gasp and grab Sherlock's arse tighter.

 

“Fuck me Greg! Don't make me wait.”

 

Sherlock whispered near his ear as he moved, Greg's cock already getting harder again. He wanted to feel himself inside Sherlock, wanted to stretch and tease him for hours with his tongue and fingers. He pushed Sherlock gently off him, swapping them around. He looked up, giving a soft smile but Sherlock had his eyes closed, breathing in deeply, his chest expanding.

 

Why he didn't see the red flag waving before him at that moment, he'll never know but instead of taking a minute to think he just followed his instinct, greedy and needy for this moment to happen.

 

“Greg, now. Take me now, I'm _ready_!”

 

He should have realised something was off in Sherlock's tone, that hint of persistence, that desperation to speed it all up. His hands went down to Sherlock's cock, being a little surprise it was only half hard but before he could even wrap his fingers around it Sherlock swatted his hand away, making a sound of frustration as he turned on his belly.

 

“Stop teasing me and get on with it. I trust you. Fuck me!”

 

Sherlock was on his knees now, opening up his arsecheeks and the sight was perfect. Greg stroked Sherlock's back, feeling some scars underneath and he felt that hint of unease again. Sherlock made a sound, moving his body backwards and Greg felt another spark of lust go through him. He grabbed Sherlock's arse, breath ghosting over Sherlock's hole and he heard another soft noise. He went in, kissing and licking Sherlock's entrance, getting lost in the knowledge he was tongue fucking the great Sherlock Holmes. It was perfect and he moaned as he opened Sherlock up even more, adding a thumb with his tongue, breathing in that earthy, musky smell with something just pure Sherlock. He wanted to take his time, tease Sherlock with his fingers, have him tremble with need but Sherlock called out, impatience and something else in his voice.

“Greg please. It's enough, I'm _ready_ , I trust you, I'm willing, fuck me Greg!”

 

Sherlock wiggled Greg's fingers going deeper and Greg moaned at the sight. His cock was hard again, aching with need and Sherlock pushing down on his fingers, two at the moment, wasn't helping to think straight.

 

Greg took a deep breath, watching his fingers buried inside Sherlock's tight hole, his body shaking and trembling as he leaned on his elbows.

 

“Sherlock, are you sure? There's no need to rush this.”

 

Sherlock let out a growl, nodding his head franticly as he pushed down again. He wanted more time to prep Sherlock, add a third finger to open him up just a little more but Sherlock was impatient, pushing himself down on Greg's fingers. It was all going too fast and something nagged at Greg's mind but he was too lost in the pleasure of it, the tension inside his body and cock getting too hard to ignore. He wanted this so much, had dreamed about it for years and Sherlock was right there, arse in the air, begging Greg to fuck him and he couldn't resist.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg realises something is really, really wrong.

It wasn't till he heard that sound, a tiny, half held in sob that he came back to reality. His cock was throbbing, begging for release but Greg only had eyes for the man in front of him.

 

“Sherlock?”

 

Another sound filled the room, icing over Greg's heart and he slowly released his hands from Sherlock's arse. Sherlock was still on his elbows and knees, hole open and wet from Greg's attentions but he was shaking all over, goosebumps on his body as another sob came out. It was loud like a thunderclap and Greg instantly lost his erection, gasping for breath as he watched Sherlock who shivering and shaking, breath shallow and fast, hands holding the pillow in a deathgrip, his knuckles white from the effort.

 

“Sherlock?! Dammit! Sherlock!”

 

Greg moves as if bitten by a snake,grabbing the earlier discarded sheets and draping them over Sherlock who had fallen to the side, still shaking all over. Greg finally saw his face and felt all the air leave his body as he saw the paleness on Sherlock's face, his eyes tightly shut, tears falling down his hollow cheeks as his lips were pressed in a tight line. Sherlock curled his hands to fists, stuffing one in his mouth and shook violently as the sobs got louder and faster.

 

Greg felt dread and shame rise inside him as he heard Sherlock cry and break down. The sounds were like that of a dying animal and Greg went cold as Sherlock curled even more up, as if wanting to become invisible.

 

Greg turned, trying to find something to put on as he did his best not to puke. He felt disgust enter his body as he remembered what had happened just minutes before. All the little warning signs he had felt but hadn't figure out sooner. The eagerness and strain in Sherlock's voice, not wanting to meet his eyes, not wanting Greg to touch his body, kiss his mouth once they were in bed.

 

He found his pants and shirt, hastily putting them on, one eye on Sherlock as he went to find the light switch and took a breath before flipping it. He'd been blind for too long.

 

“Oh Sherlock.”

 

Greg felt tears in his eyes, a tightness in his throat as he saw Sherlock's crippled form in the middle of the bed. He was still shaking, eyes shut as he but his fist, leaving bite marks in the skin but the tears had stopped. There were dirty smears all over his face and it was too much to stand. Greg turned around, resting his head on the door, taking deep breaths to try and control himself. He heard a tiny noise and turned, meeting Sherlock's watery and red eyes.

 

Greg digged out a handkerchief from his pocket, going over slowly to Sherlock, eyes fixed on his face. Sherlock looked devestated and worried, his hand shaking as he took the handkerchief from Greg.

 

Sherlock dried his eyes and Greg went to the kitchen, missing the terrified look in Sherlock's eyes as he fond a glass and took some water from the tab.

 

“Dammit! Fucking idiot!”

 

He kicked a nearby chair, feeling lost and helpless before going back inside. Sherlock uncurled slowly, watching Greg with a weird look as Greg placed the glass nearby. He looked around, seeing a chair in the corner of the room and dragging it closer, sitting down, just trying to breath as Sherlock took the glass and drank half of it in one go. Greg saw the marks on Sherlock's hand from biting down earlier and he felt sick and uneasy just seeing it.

 

“We'll have to take care of that.”

 

Sherlock flinched from Greg's voice and Greg' stomach turned, gesturing to Sherlock's hand before looking away, gazing at the curtain. It was quite outside, people already at home with their families and loved ones, ready to start the weekend.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

It was even less then a whisper and Greg turned to look at Sherlock, his chest was exposed as he sat up, holding onto the glass of water for dear life and Greg felt a huge sadness go through him. Sherlock held his gaze for a second before looking away, face even more pale then before and Greg took a deep breath, trying not to throw up.

 

“Sorry isn't good enough Sherlock. Why?”

 

Sherlock kept looking down, lip trembling slighlty, gripping the glass even tighter and Greg sighed, hand going through his hair to try and buy some time.

 

“If you grip it any harder you're going to break the glass.”

 

Sherlock blinked, looking down at his hands as if he only now realised he was holding something. His hand trembled once as he placed the glass on the nightstand and Greg looked away as more naked skin was revealed by the movement.

 

“Why Sherlock? Why did you do this? I thought you...”

 

_Wanted me._ That was what Greg wanted to say but he couldn't. He bit his lip to stop the words from falling out, showing Sherlock how he really felt about him. Maybe Sherlock already knew, maybe he'd known all along and this was... What? Greg couldn't go on with that line of thought, too sick and vulnerable. Sherlock spoke, his voice small and broken and Greg felt his heart break for him, wanting to go over there and hug him, give some comfort and support.

 

“I thought I could- I wanted to see- I know you wouldn't- I'm _sorry_.”

 

Sherlock looked devastated, making himself as small as possible and Greg got up, waiting for Sherlock to tell him it was okay to sit down. Sherlock gave a nod and Greg sat down, eyes on Sherlock's face.

 

“We need to talk Sherlock. This could have been much worse if it had happened with anyone else who didn't know you. I can't even. Oh my god.”

 

Sherlock broke eye contact, looking miserable and Greg closed his eyes for a second, breathing in and out to try and stay calm and not think about how things could have gone. He knew something was wrong, knew in the back of his mind but his longing, his greediness had gotten the better of him. The fantasy of having everything he ever wanted with Sherlock had made him lose sight of reality and it was something that would never happen again. Sherlock came first.

 

“Don't Greg. This isn't your fault.” Sherlock shook his head, reaching out and taking Greg's hand tightly in his own. Of course he'd know what Greg was thinking.

 

“You didn't do anything wrong Greg. I swear you didn't! You shouldn't blame yourself for this. I. I screwed up.”

 

Sherlock squeezed Greg's hand, giving Greg a hopeless look.

 

“I should have known Sherlock. I knew! I knew something was wrong the moment you came over to me. Why would you want to have sex with me of all people. You can have anyone with the snap of your finger. I can't even begin to imagine. What if it had been someone else Sherlock? Someone who didn't know you, who wouldn't have stopped?”

 

Greg heard Sherlock's intake of breath, his face losing all colour it still had and he wanted to kick something again.

 

“This was a bad idea Sherlock, experimenting like that? I don't understand why you...”

 

Greg stopped, seeing the shock and dread in Sherlock's eyes.

 

“Sherlock?”

 

“It wasn't an experiment. Not- not really. I would never- You have to believe me.”

 

Sherlock sounded frantic, his eyes wide as he gripped Greg's hand tighter making Greg wince. Sherlock moved closer, other hand going up to Greg's chest and Greg felt the air leave his lunges again.

 

“You are not an experiment! This wasn't- I wanted to prove- to see.”

 

Greg raised an eyebrow, placing a hand on Sherlock's naked shoulder, feeling how cold he was.

 

“Sherlock breath. What are you talking about? Needed to prove what?”

 

“That I'm normal. That I can...”

 

Greg's eyes narrowed, his hand burning on Sherlock's shoulder and he removed it,mouth becoming a thin line as he crossed his arms making Sherlock's hand fall down his chest and onto the bed.

 

“Of course you're normal Sherlock. We all are in our own way. What's going on? Please tell me cause right now I feel beyond dirty.”

 

Sherlock shivered, eyes lost and Greg got up, finding another blanket and draping it over him before sitting down on the chair again. He saw the hurt, almost offended look in Sherlock's eyes but stayed seated.

 

“I need some space Sherlock. Sitting next to you is distracting and I hate myself for even saying that. I need to know more Sherlock. Fuck.”

 

Greg sighed, grabbing his hair and pulling it as he let out a sound of frustration.

 

“Fuck, this is so messed up. A total disaster!”

 

Sherlock flinched and Greg hated his outburst already.

 

“I don't mean you Sherlock, I mean this! What could have happened. I knew something was wrong. I knew this wasn't you. You've never talk about sex before, you never even look at a person twice. I should have figured it out sooner.”

 

Sherlock shook his head fiercely but Greg carried on, thoughts going so fast it made his head feel heavy.

 

“You not answering me, not even _looking_ at me. You didn't even want me to touch you! Oh god!”

 

Greg stopped, taking a deep breath to try and calm down, head going down, pulling his hair. He almost jumped out of the chair when a pair of cold hands touched his shoulders and he closed his eyes quickly.

 

“This isn't your fault Greg. I know you want me. I know you find me attractive, I've known from the day we met. I- I used that knowledge. I'm sorry Greg.”

 

Greg lifted his head, doing his best to only focus on Sherlock's face and he saw the glint in Sherlock's eyes. Even now, after what had happened Greg still wanted Sherlock. He felt sick, wanting to throw up because of his own feelings, his own needs but Sherlock shook his head again, squeezing his shoulders.

 

“It's not wrong to want me Greg. I- I like it.”

 

Greg narrowed his eyes and Sherlock looked down, removing his hands.

 

“I. I thought it would work this time. That because you want me and I liked it, I thought it would work. That I wouldn't screw it up. That I could see this through, give you what you want.”

 

Sherlock stopped as Greg's eyes went dark and dangerous, eyes fixed on his face and he felt a blush form from being so exposed. Quite literally as he'd jumped out of bed to comfort Greg, forgetting the sheets that covered him.

 

“Sherlock. You aren't making a lot of sense. I know I drank some tonight but not enough to be a total idiot.”

 

Sherlock flinched at the hardness of the word idiot, remembering all the times he'd called Greg and his team that. He didn't mean it, not when it was directed at Greg, but apparently Greg believed it to be true.

 

“And you should get dressed, you're shivering all over again.”

 

Sherlock's eyes got wide, as if only know realising that he was in fact shivering and Greg shook his head.

 

“Idiot, you'll get sick at this rate. I'll go make dinner and you get dressed okay. I'll see you in a few.”

 

Greg got up, being careful to not touch Sherlock as he passed but Sherlock reached out, grabbing his wrist in a tight grip.

 

“You'll still- be here?”

 

Greg felt his heart break again. Sherlock's eyes were worried and sad, blush getting a little bigger as he looked at the ground. He suddenly seemed so young and vulnerable.

 

“Hey,” Greg whispered, using a finger to lift Sherlock's head, “I'm not leaving you okay. We need to talk about all this but it's going to go better with clothes on and some food in our bellies. I'm not leaving, I promise.”

 

Sherlock let out a sigh of relief, letting go of Greg's wrist as he stepped back.

 

“Okay.”

 

Greg gave a tight smile, his eyes going up and down Sherlock's body without wanting to and hating himself for still feeling a sharp spark of arousal. Sherlock watched him, the hint of a knowing smirk on his lips but it was gone in the blink of an eye and as Greg closed the door and walked to the kitchen he wasn't even sure if it had been there at all.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say there was a lot of talking...  
> \----------------------------------------

Greg heard the shower turn on as he finished ordering food. The fridge was just ghastly, nothing even close to food so he'd called his favourite take away instead.

 

The sound of running water made him ache for a shower himself. He felt beyond dirty and even though Sherlock said all this hadn't been an experiment he still felt used.

 

“ _That I'm normal. That I can...”_

 

That he could what? Greg still couldn't really understand. What did sex have to do with being normal? And why did Sherlock chose him of all people.

 

“ _It's not wrong to want me Greg. I- I like it.”_

 

He shook his head. Of course Sherlock had known Greg wanted him,he saw everything. But a lot of people wanted Sherlock and some weren't at all subtle about it. Like Greg had said before, Sherlock could have anyone with the snap of his bony finger. So why Greg?

 

The shower kept running and it made Greg feel uneasy again. Knowing Sherlock was in there, upset and confused after what they'd done. It was only normal Sherlock wanted to feel clean again, erase all evidence of their love making from his body.

 

_Love making?_

 

A stab of pain entered his heart like a speer, almost making him stumble as he went to sit on a kitchen chair, waiting for the food to arrive. It hadn't been love making at all between them. It hadn't even been lust or want from Sherlock's part, just something to see through, to prove he was normal. Sherlock didn't want Greg the way he wanted Sherlock. And it wasn't even sex. Okay, he'd dreamed about sex with Sherlock for years but as he go to know the man more he actually started to like him. He was cleaver and smart, sometimes a smart arse but overall a decent guy with a big heart and a lot of compassion for people. Not everyone saw that, being blinded by his 'sociopath persona' but he did care, he did feel. More then most people.

 

Greg wanted Sherlock. He wanted him as a friend, as someone to come home to after a tough day and relax with. As someone he could be himself with, let his guard down and relax in the knowledge that he was enough the way he was. He wanted everything with Sherlock and tonight had clearly shown that he could never have that.

 

He waited impatiently, tearing himself up as he heard the water running, wanting to kick something to relief some of the tension and guilt. Cause the guilt was still there, guilt of not figuring it out sooner, of wanting to belief, of choosing to stay blind and just take.

 

He dreaded the moment Sherlock would come out here, dreaded sitting down and talking about this but it had to be done. What had happened tonight was something that should never happen again and he wanted to know why. Why had it happened in the first place? Why him? He'd almost done something unforgivable because Sherlock had read him so well, had known what Greg wanted and he wasn't leaving till he knew everything. However painful it could be for both of them.

 

He jumped as he heard the sound of the bell, heart hammering in his chest as he went, downstairs two steps at a time to get the food. He gave the gruffly teen a tip and heading back upstairs. The food smelled delicious and Greg's stomach rumbled, letting it's master know how hungry he was.

 

Greg stepped inside, a feeling or relief and panic flooding over him as his eyes landed on Sherlock. He looked a bit better, smelling fresh and clean, his hair already curling around the edges. There was a hint of coconut and almond in the air as Sherlock moved, stopping in the middle of his walk to the sofa. His eyes stood unsure, a little scared and he fidgeted with the sash of his dressing gown. His feet were clad in fluffy warm socks and when Sherlock wiggled his toes Greg felt some nerves and panic leave his system.

 

“Food's here. I hope you like Chinese cause your fridge is just appalling. Want to eat in the kitchen or here?”

 

Sherlock shrugged as Greg gestured to the living room and he couldn't keep in a sigh. He moved to the coffee table, placing the bags down with a little more force then was necessary.

 

“This is fine Lestrade.”

 

“Little late to call me that now, right?”

 

The words were out before he really thought about it and he saw Sherlock flinch as if being hit, making himself smaller. Greg cursed himself for his hard too, his words had been too harsh, too brutal and he could see the walls building around Sherlock as he sat down, body stiff and uneasy.

Greg let go of the bags, going over and sitting down next to the man, hand reaching out to touch his shoulder briefly. Sherlock's eyes were looking everywhere, fidgeting with his hands.

 

“I'm sorry Sherlock, that was uncalled for. Lestrade or Greg, your choice. Let's eat okay?”

 

Sherlock nodded, his body relaxing just a little as Greg handed him a container of food. Sherlock hesitantly took it, sniffing and looking at it before taking his fork and taking a tiny bite. His face changed for a second before taking a bigger bite and Greg counted that as a win.

 

They ate in silence, stealing glances at each other from time to time. Sherlock opened his mouth a few times, ready to speak but closed it just as fast. Greg collected the containers after they'd finished, throwing it in the trash and taking a deep breath before going back in.

 

Sherlock was curled up on the sofa, knees to his chest, a blanket wrapped around him, a concerned expression on his face as Greg sat down opposite him.

 

“Sherlock? This is going to be hard but we need to talk about this. What? Why?”

 

Greg swallowed, not knowing how to start this conversation but Sherlock looked up, uncurled himself and took a breath before speaking.

 

“Like I said before, this is _not_ your fault. You couldn't have known that I would... You shouldn't blame yourself over any of this Greg. I-I saw what you wanted and took advantage of it. I knew you wanted me, knew you wouldn't say no if I made it clear I wanted to have sex with you.”

 

“But you didn't.”

 

Greg had to be honest with himself, it hurt like hell when Sherlock shook his head no, a guilty look in his eyes.

 

“I didn't. I mean. Please don't think I don't find you attractive Greg. I do and I thought because of that, and the fact that I liked the fact you wanted me, that this could work. That I could...”

 

Sherlock stopped, closing his eyes a moment, breathing slowly in and out. His hands were fidgeting with his sash again and Greg noticed the bite mark on Sherlock's knuckles from earlier.

 

“That doesn't look too good Sherlock.”

 

Greg gestured to Sherlock's hand and Sherlock shrugged again, rubbing over the indentations, the shape almost a perfect oval. The bite was still very well visible and Greg winched as he remembered the force Sherlock had used. He was surprised it hadn't drawn blood.

 

“It's fine Greg, not important.” Sherlock waved his other hand, knee bouncing up and down and Greg got up, sitting down next to him, taking his hand to look at the mark more closely.

 

“It is important Sherlock, you hurt yourself, we should look after it. Does it still hurt?”

 

Sherlock turned to look at Greg with a weird expression on his face, his mouth opened and closed like a fish as a blush formed again on his pale cheeks. Sweet Jesus! Greg inhaled sharply, eyes going back to Sherlock's hand, trying to not lean forward and kiss Sherlock senseless. He looked beautiful and adorable and Greg's stomach did a flip as Sherlock's blush grew.

 

“It's f-fine Greg. J-just stung a bit in the shower.”

 

Greg's cock was fully awake again as Sherlock stuttered out his answer, eyes blinking rapidly. Greg coughed, letting go of Sherlock's hand and standing up.

 

“I'll go look for some ointment and a clean bandage. We shouldn't let it out exposed like this. You never know if it will get infected and bites can be nasty.”

 

Greg turned and headed to the bathroom, his body was on fire again, his mind showing him images of a naked Sherlock, remembering how he felt, what he tasted like. Greg let out a growl in frustration, slamming the cabinet door shut a little too hard as he found the ointment and bandage.

 

“C'mon, let's look after this.”

 

Greg applied a generous amount of oitnmet onto the bite, applying the bandage sucurely but making sure it wasn't too tight. All the while Sherlock kept silent, watching Greg like a hawk.

 

“What's wrong Sherlock?”

 

Greg secured the bandage, closing the tube with ointment as Sherlock still watched him with an intense look. He looked down at his hand before back at Greg, blinking rapidly again.

 

“You're unbelievable.”

 

“Sorry?”

 

Greg couldn't hide the surprise, Sherlock already looking down at his lap, his cheeks a nice pink.

 

“I don't understand. How can you be so kind Greg?” Sherlock whispered, lifting his head slowly, his eyes watching Greg with something close to awe and amusement. Greg fidgeted, feeling uneasy as Sherlock's eyes stayed on him, fingers fidgeting with the sash of his dressing gown.

 

“After what I did tonight. I used you and you're still here, caring for me. Why?”

 

Sherlock got closer, placing his bandaged hand on Greg's thigh. Greg saw the curiosity in Sherlock's eyes, the wanting to understand and he spoke before thinking.

 

“Because you'll always come first Sherlock.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Greg placed his hand gently over Sherlock, a sad smile on his face as Sherlock frowned. Seeing the confusion on his face was painful.

 

“What?”

 

“I care about you Sherlock, you're my friend and seeing you in pain kills me. Knowing that what we did isn't what you really wanted is killing me. You telling me you find me attractive is killing me. You will always come first Sherlock. You mean too much to me to not put you first.”

 

Greg swallowed, feeling shame rise as the words filled the room. Sherlock's eyes got wide, his mouth falling open again and Greg removed his hand, for the first time wanting to run, to pretend this all had been a bad dream.

 

“Greg. What? I don't.”

 

Sherlock stopped, a sigh in frustration as he grabbed Greg's hand.

 

“It's okay Sherlock. I understand that you don't feel the same way about me. Just knowing you find me attractive is a real ego boost I assure you.”

 

Greg gave a smile, one that failed to convince them both it was all fine cause Sherlock still looked at him with confusion.

 

“I care about you Greg. Don't you know that?”

 

Sherlock looked so surprised it was almost comical. Greg looked down for a second and of course Sherlock figured out the meaning behind it.

 

“Oh god. You don't believe me. Greg,” Sherlock lifted his chin up, eyes wide as his face got closer, “I care deeply about you. You are the most important person in my life!”

 

“I didn't just try to have sex with you because I find you attractive. I _trust_ you Greg, I trust you with my life. I know you'll never hurt me, I know you'll always be there for me. I knew I could trust you with this.”

 

Now Greg is sure he's the comical looking one cause his ears are burning from Sherlock's words. He knew somewhere deep down that Sherlock tolerated him,they'd been working together on cases for 3 years now and from what Greg had heard Sherlock didn't stick around long. He usually left after a couple of months, calling everybody idiots and incompetent.

 

But hearing Sherlock say he trusted him with his life, that was unexpected and it made him feel happy and light. Sherlock trusted him, saw him as a friend. It was more then enough.

 

“I'm sorry I used you Greg. I'm sorry I disappointed you. I really thought this time it would work cause you actually like me and I trust you. Maybe I didn't try hard enough? I'm sure it could work if we tried it again. I know what to expect now, how it will feel...”

“Sherlock stop!” Greg raised his voice a little, feeling a little sick. Sherlock's face fell, nibbling at his lip and Greg took a breath, trying to not think about those lips around his cock.

 

“You still want me. I saw it, right now when you looked at my lips.”

 

Of course Sherlock had seen his dirty thoughts but instead of being shocked or disgusted he looked curious. Eyes fixed on Greg as if trying to solve a very difficult puzzle.

 

“I'm sorry Sherlock, I couldn't...”

 

“I don't understand. Why are you sorry? I'm wiling to try it again and you clearly want me. Why are you sorry for wanting me?”

 

Sherlock tilted his head a little, a hint of disappointment in his voice and Greg suddenly felt ancient.

 

“Sherlock. It's very clear you didn't enjoy what we were doing. Why would I want to try again if I know you won't like it, maybe even hate it?”

 

“But I just saw it! You want to have sex with me, you looked at my lips and your eyes dilated. It's a clear sign of sexual arousal.”

“Yes, but just because I'm aroused doesn't mean I have to act on it. I'm not an animal Sherlock, I have self control. I'm a little upset that you think I don't.”

 

Sherlock's mouth dropped open, hand going up to cover it, blinking his eyes rapidly as the colour drained from his face.

 

“No, I don't. I mean, I know you have self control! I just want to know, want to understand why you're reluctant now to try again while a moment ago you weren't.”

 

“Cause now I know you didn't enjoy it Sherlock. I would never force myself on you. I already feel like a bastard for not figuring out sooner something was wrong. Why did you force this Sherlock?”

 

Sherlock looked down, eyes on his bandaged hand as he searched for words.

 

“I thought it would work now, if I could make myself think I wanted this, then I could do it. Mind over matter Greg.”

 

Sherlock's voice was soft. Eyes not staying on Greg's face but focusing on his bandaged hand. He picked at the bandage and Greg took his hand, a stern look in his eyes.

 

“Sherlock. There is nothing wrong with not liking sex. And you shouldn't force yourself, it doesn't work like that. Not enjoying sex doesn't make you strange Sherlock. Who ever told you that is a moron.”

 

Greg was finally starting to understand Sherlock's mind but it didn't make him feel any less of a bastard.

 

“Don't give me that bullshit Lestrade, everybody has _sex_!”

 

Greg jumped at the harshness in Sherlock's voice as Sherlock removed his hand with force, looking at Greg with angry and upset eyes.

 

“Everybody has sex and enjoys it! It's the way a good relationship works! You love each other so you have sex. How else can you show the person you love you care for them? How else can you show them you love them?”

 

Sherlock looked angry and lost at the same time, picking at his bandage again.

 

“Sherlock, stop that!” Greg's voice was a touch harder then before, taking Sherlock's hands in his and Sherlock let out a sound of frustration.

 

“Listen to me Sherlock! Sex isn't a mandatory thing in a relationship! A lot of people don't like sex, don't have it cause they don't enjoy it and they still have a very loving relationship. And also, what do you mean by sex anyway?”

 

Sherlock rolled his eyes and huffed, giving Greg a 'are you serious' look as his hands twitched in Greg's hold.

 

“I'm serious Sherlock. Sex doesn't just mean penetration. Sex is diverse, so are the people that have it. You can come to understandings with your partners, you should. And, even if you don't like any form of sex, your partner needs to understand that too. If they can't you shouldn't stay with them. I can't believe I'm telling you this, aren't you the genius of the two of us?”

Greg gave a little smile and Sherlock huffed again, shrugging his shoulder as a blush formed on his face.

 

“I'm not an expert in everything Greg.”

 

“That's nice to know. But seriously Sherlock, you shouldn't have to do things you aren't comfortable with just to please your partner. There are so many ways to show someone you love them.”

 

Sherlock finally relaxed, his eyes going softer as he watched Greg and Greg swallowed, suddenly feeling on fire.

 

“Sherlock, who told you you had to have sex to show your love?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Sherlock sucked in a breath, knowing the question would come but wishing it didn't. He looked down at their joined hands, liking the warmth that came off of Greg's.

 

It was so different then James' hands. James' hands had been like the man himself, rough and cold. Sherlock still didn't understand why he'd fallen for him and why he hadn't seen the signs sooner. James, Jim for friends, had been all nice smiles and gentle touches in public but once they were inside he became cold and distant, demanding more then Sherlock was willing to give. James didn't take no for an answer and he still had scars to prove it. He shuddered at the thought and Greg squeezed his hands, bringing him out of his memories.

 

“Sherlock, you okay?”

 

Sherlock nodded, again realising how caring Greg really was. John had been caring too in the beginning. Kind words, soothing gestures, soft kisses but after a few months he'd gotten tired of it. Kissing and first base hadn't been enough.

 

“ _Sherlock baby, I love you. I want to prove it to you. Can't I show my love for you?”_

 

Sherlock had tried, he really had but it hadn't been enough and John had left, betrayal and hurt in his eyes and words.

 

“ _I thought you loved me Sherlock! I thought you loved me but you can't even have sex with me. Freak!”_

 

After that he broke down, feeling useless and a freak. He was on the verge of relapsing when Greg came by, checking in on him when he hadn't heard from Sherlock in a few days. Greg had saved him again, giving him meaning, a sense of pride. Greg was kind and patient, not asking questions about a certain doctor gone missing and Sherlock had been grateful. He'd also seen the initial attraction years ago. He always saw it but Greg hadn't acted on it, hadn't treated Sherlock any differently and had always seen him as a person. Not just a sexy body. It made him trust Greg over time, testing him out, stretching the boundaries. Greg lost his patience yes, but never his temper and he always forgave Sherlock.

 

It made Sherlock feel very complicated things for the man and he didn't know how to deal with them. He dreamed about kissing him, exploring his body but he also knew what he wanted wasn't enough. He'd been a fool, thinking he could fix himself.

 

“Sherlock? You in there somewhere?”

 

Sherlock startled, being snatched out of his memories by Greg's gentle voice and he suddenly had to fight back tears.

 

“Sherlock? Oh love, I'm sorry. Did I upset you, I didn't mean to.”

 

Sherlock waved his hand, blinking fast to stop the tears as Greg held him in a hug. Greg was the only person Sherlock didn't mind touching him. Not even James or John had been allowed to hug him so tight, so close.

 

“I. Greg, I don't think you want to know. Trust me.”

 

His voice was hard as Greg leaned back, scanning Sherlock's face. He looked at the chair, the one John always sat in and saw Greg's gaze follow his.

 

He saw the change in the man instantly, his body going stiff, his shoulders back, the tightness of his mouth. Sherlock was Greg's hands curl into fists and for a moment there was pure panic there.

 

“That bastard!”

 

Sherlock jumped, the anger clear in Greg's voice. Sherlock saw the hate in Greg's eyes and it left him baffled. He didn't even know Greg could hate. He blinked in surprise and Greg made a face.

 

“He never deserved you. Not a second! I knew something was...”

 

Greg stopped, taking a deep breath to calm himself, hands still formed into fists but when he looked back at Sherlock it was all softness and care and Sherlock relaxed, glad the anger wasn't for him.

 

“Told you, you didn't want to know.”

 

He gave a tight smile, Greg still on edge and he reached out, placing a hand on Greg's fist.

 

“That bastard! He didn't hurt you did he, he didn't?”

 

Greg waved at Sherlock with one hand, eyes pained and Sherlock felt his scars tingle. He wanted to brush it off but Greg looked at him fiercely, almost murderously so instead he shook his head, squeezing Greg's fist.

 

“No. John didn't give me the scars. He wasn't very happy when. When he realised I was more a first base kind of person. He tried to change my mind but I- He didn't hurt me.”

 

Sherlock swallowed, throat tight as Greg watched him with intent, as if trying to see if he was telling the truth. It hurt, Greg thinking he wasn't being honest, after all this time. After all they'd been through.

 

“Sherlock.”

 

Sherlock felt anger rise, his tone too hard when he answered.

 

“He didn't hurt me Greg! Not physically. I swear.”

 

Sherlock saw Greg instantly relax, uncurling his fist and interlacing their hands.

 

“Good, otherwise I'd have to kill him and you'd instantly know it was me.”

 

Sherlock rolled his eyes and Greg let out a laugh. He loved that laugh, it was freeing, full of happiness and Sherlock had missed it.

 

“I'm sorry Greg, for doing this. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I really thought I could give you what you wanted.”

 

“What I wanted?”

 

The confusion was clear on Greg's face and Sherlock felt panic rise as he saw Greg's mind work. He really wasn't an idiot after all.

 

“Wait. Wait a minute. You did this for me? I thought you wanted to test run me.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Greg saw Sherlock's face change and he knew he'd said something stupid. Sherlock's eyes went dark, his mouth tight as he released his hands from Greg's.

 

“Test run you? You still think this was an experiment, don't you?”

 

Greg nodded, too tired to lie and Sherlock looked devastated.

 

“Sherlock, I.”

 

“You still don't get it. You still don't see! This is exactly why I did what I did! You don't know!”

 

Sherlock got up, walking around the sofa and pacing back and forth, hands gesturing wild as he talked a mile a minute.

 

“We have to have sex Greg! Now, we have to! I told you, everybody has sex cause why else can you show your lover you care for him! I did it all wrong and now you don't want me. You still don't believe me!”

 

Greg had a semi heart attack at least three times while Sherlock paced and talked. He called out a few times, trying to get the man's attention but Sherlock was too lost in his own ramble.

 

“SHERLOCK!”

 

Sherlock snapped out of it when Greg got up, taking him by the shoulders as he screamed his name.

 

“What the hell is going on here Sherlock?! What are you talking about?! What don't I get? You have to tell me before I do something stupid.”

 

Greg felt his heart beat too fast, blood rushing in his ears as Sherlock opened and closed his mouth. He was bright red, fidgeting with his hands and looking everywhere but at Greg.

 

“We need to have sex Greg. I need to show you how I feel about you. It's the only way. You want me, I know you do. I'll do better this time, I'll prove it.”

 

Greg let go of Sherlock's shoulders, taking his hand and guiding him to the sofa. He saw the mixed look of disappointment and relief and it hurt his heart all over.

 

“I am not having sex with you Sherlock.”

 

Sherlock was about to argue but Greg placed a finger on his mouth, shushing him with a stern look.

 

“It's not because I don't want you. I want you Sherlock, I want you too much. I will never take advantage of you. I will never force myself on you.”

 

“But Greg! How else will I..”

 

Greg pressed his finger back to Sherlock's mouth and Sherlock fell silent.

 

“Are you serious about this Sherlock? Cause from what I can make of it you- Do you love me Sherlock?”

 

Greg removed his finger and leaned back, creating some space.

 

“Yes. I, I mean. I care about you, more then anyone and I want to kiss you. I dream about kissing you, exploring you. I- when I have a bad day I want to text you, hear your voice, your laugh. I, Greg I.”

 

Sherlock leaned forward, crashing their lips together and Greg let out a strangled sound as he tasted Sherlock's tongue against his own. Sherlock's hands when into his hair, pulling it lightly and Greg couldn't stop the moan coming out, hands going to Sherlock's waist to pull him closer.

 

“Sherlock, Sherlock stop. Please, slow down.”

 

Sherlock let out a sound of disappointment when Greg gently broke them up, catching his breath as Sherlock watched him, lips shiny and eyes wide.

 

“What-what did I do wrong? I know I don't have the best kissing technique but-”

 

“Sherlock! You didn't do anything wrong. Trust me, your technique is spot on.”

 

Sherlock gave a tiny, unsure smile and Greg shook his head in disbelief.

 

“I can't belief you- that you. Are you sure?”

 

Greg couldn't stop a laugh as Sherlock rolled his eyes, waving his hand in an 'don't be stupid' way.

 

“I'm sure. Why do you find it so hard to believe? How can I prove it to you? I can suck you off again, you liked that.”

 

Greg felt queasy at Sherlock's words, holding the man off as he reached forward, like a man on a mission.

 

“Sherlock! Could you stop for a second!”

 

“You don't? You don't want me?”

 

Sherlock's voice sounded broken, his body closing in on himself and Greg jumped, taking Sherlock's hands and placing a kiss on the man's lips.

 

“Stop that! Are you crazy Sherlock? Of course I want you, I'll always want you but I won't have sex with you.”

 

Greg sighed as Sherlock gave him an affronted look.

 

“Don't you understand Sherlock? We just had sex and it gave you a panic attack. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to upset you. You shouldn't feel obligated to have sex with me. You think I'd enjoy it? Knowing you are hating every second of it.”

 

“I didn't hate all of it. I like kissing you and I liked s-sucking you off.”

 

Sherlock blushed, eyes going down as Greg sucked in a breath, his cock giving a twitch at Sherlock's words.

 

“Oh.”

 

Sherlock looked up for a second, giving a smirk before licking his lips and Greg let out an embarrassing sound.

 

“Stop it Sherlock, that's not fair.”

 

“I want you Greg. I want to please you. Why are you saying no? You want me. You told me, you show it even now.”

 

Greg growled in frustration, for the first time hating Sherlock's ability to see him, to see it all.

 

“It doesn't matter Sherlock. I am not forcing this. Please, let's stop talking about this.”

 

Sherlock looked down again, playing with his sash and Greg lifted his head up.

 

“Hey, you need to know that I love you too. This isn't just about sex Sherlock, it never was. I love you, I care about you. Me not having sex with you doesn't mean I don't love you. You need to understand that.”

 

Sherlock blinked, eyes resting on Greg's mouth for a second before going up again.

 

“You love me?”

 

Greg's eyes went wide in surprise, a frown on his face as he slowly nodded his head.

 

“Yes, why sound so surprised Sherlock? Isn't it written all over me?”

 

“Yes, but I. Can you say it again? _Please_?”

 

Sherlock's blush was bright as neon lights by now and Greg felt his heart expand as he looked at him.

 

“Oh Sherlock. I love you. I love you so much it's a little scary. I will do everything in my power to keep you happy, to keep you safe, to make you proud. You are wonderful Sherlock. So smart and kind and compassionate. I adore you, never doubt that.”

 

Sherlock gave a bright, big smile, his eyes shiny with tears and Greg opened up his arms. Sherlock fell into the embrace with ease, his face in the crook of Greg's neck, breathing in deeply.

 

“I love you to Greg. I really, really do. I know I'm not easy but I'll do everything to prove my love to you.”

 

Sherlock clung tight and Greg placed a kiss on the top of his head. It felt good, holding Sherlock close like this, his heart melting at Sherlock's words but there was just a little thing that made him feel uneasy.

 

“Sherlock. You don't have to prove yourself okay. You don't have to do everything to prove you love me. I'm more then happy to just sit here and cuddle with you. I'll be happy to do that for the rest of my life.”

 

Sherlock pulled back, watching Greg with narrowed eyes and Greg gave a reassuring smile.

 

“I'm serious Sherlock. If you ever want to do something more then we'll figure it out, talk about it, take out time. This isn't just about sex Sherlock. This is about you and me, _us_. We both deserve to be happy. Promise me you'll tell me if something is wrong. I can't have another night like this, I can't stand the thought of hurting you ever again.”

 

Sherlock shook his head, holding onto Greg's hands, lifting them up to kiss the knuckles.

 

“You didn't hurt me Greg. And stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault. And I didn't hate all of it.”

 

“Promise me Sherlock. Promise you'll tell me if something is wrong. Please Sunshine, for me.”

 

Sherlock's eyes went wide and Greg cursed himself for his silly mouth.

 

“I'm sorry, that just slipped out, I didn't-”

 

But Greg couldn't talk more cause Sherlock was kissing him, tongue slipping inside and making Greg moan. Sherlock's hands found their way into Greg's hair again and Greg couldn't stop a smile.

 

“What?”

 

It was a whisper full with love and lust and it set Greg's body on fire. He chuckled, leaning forward again to lick Sherlock's lip.

 

“You really like my hair don't you.”

 

Sherlock's eyes fluttered, blush raising as he shrugged a shoulder.

 

“I. Is that wrong?”

 

“No love, it's not wrong. Just something I'm noticing about you. I like that you like my hair. I don't particularly like it myself.”

 

Greg shrugged as Sherlock watched him, eyes resting on Greg's hair.

 

“You're not old Greg.”

 

Greg sighed, of course Sherlock had figured that out.

 

“I'm not young either.”

 

“Stop it! You are not too old for me!”

 

Sherlock's gaze was fierce and Greg swallowed down his reply. It had been on his mind and a reason why he never acted on his feelings. Sherlock was 11 years younger then him, it was a big difference and Greg had known from the start he'd never have a chance with him. And now here they were.

 

“Sherlock,I. I don't want to hold you back. You are so special, I don't want to be the reason you settle down and then hate me for it.”

 

“Stop it Lestrade! Don't be ridiculous. You don't hold me back, you push me to be better. To be a better friend, a better person. I want to make you proud Greg.”

 

Sherlock leaned in again, kissing Greg with a dirty tongue and Greg let out a moan, grabbing Sherlock's waist and pulling him closer. Sherlock pulled his hair, exposing Greg's neck and he wanted to die from pleasure as Sherlock kissed and licked his neck, ending it with a soft bite.

 

“Fuck Sherlock!”

 

Sherlock smirked, eyes narrowed as he looked down, seeing Greg's erection clearly through his pants.

 

“You're not old at all. Want me to take care of that for you?”

 

Sherlock's hands travelled down Greg's stomach, his eyes wide and Greg grabbed Sherlock's wrist, a question clear in his eyes.

 

“Sherlock. You don't have to okay.”

 

“I don't mind Greg, I like giving handjobs too. At least with you. I like the sounds you make, the way you say my name.”

 

Greg sucked in a breath, letting go of Sherlock's wrist and Sherlock made quick work of opening up his trousers, taking Greg's heavy cock inside his hands and pumping him slow but hard.

 

“Sherlock, oh, god!”

 

Greg leaned forward, capturing Sherlock's lips and making the man moan, a spark of arousal going through him at the sound. He grabbed Sherlock's arse, squeezing it and Sherlock let out another moan, working Greg's cock faster.

 

“Oh baby, so close.”

 

Greg leaned back, his body shivering as Sherlock did a twist with his hand and suddenly Greg was coming, semen running down Sherlock's fingers. He was still coming down from his high when Sherlock took a finger inside his mouth, sucking off the cum and Greg cursed, eyes on Sherlock's mouth like a hawk.

 

“Sherlock, oh damn!”

 

Sherlock licked his other fingers clean, eyes on Greg's face and Greg bucked up his body. Sherlock gave a smile, leaning down to kiss him and Greg growled as he tasted himself on Sherlock's tongue.

 

“You're perfect Sherlock! That was so hot. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too Greg, I swear I do. Will you stay tonight?”

 

Greg's heart stopped for a moment, running through all the pro's and con's but Sherlock shook his head, a sigh escaping his mouth.

 

“Will you please stop that? I'm not fragile Greg. I don't want you to panic every time I ask something, or want to do something sexual. I don't like penetration, at least not when I'm getting it.”

 

Sherlock stopped, eyes cross as they looked at Greg.

 

“I'm just asking you to stay tonight, sleep here... With me?”

 

Sherlock looked down, biting his lip and Greg took his hand, sticking from his cum.

 

“Okay. I like that idea. I like it a lot.”

 

Greg suddenly felt exhausted, the night and emotions getting the better of him so he let Sherlock take his hand and help him up, going to the bedroom.

 

Sherlock stripped off Greg's clothes, placing tiny kisses on his mouth as he worked and Greg felt loved and cared for. He wrapped around Sherlock like an octopus, letting out a sigh of bless as Sherlock relaxed instantly.

 

“This okay?”

 

He felt Sherlock nod his head, getting his leg in between Greg and Greg couldn't stop a smile on his lips. The start of this, whatever _this_ would turn out to be, hadn't been easy but Greg had hope they would make it through to the other side. He placed a kiss on top of Sherlock's head, hearing the approving sound fill the room and it wasn't long before they drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for now. I hope you enjoyed this story and that it made some sense. :)  
> \----------------------------------------------------  
> If I made any mistakes or you want to tell me how you liked it you can comment here or on my tumblr: http://readingfanficswatchingshows.tumblr.com/
> 
> If you want me to add tags you can send me an email to: KallistoIndrani@hotmail.com
> 
> I have a blog where you can find sneek peeks, updates and writer's tips: http://readingfanficswrites.tumblr.com/


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew the chance of adding an extra chapter was huge cause I really love this version of Sherlock and Greg together and then I got a comment from Lizlemler asking;
> 
> " I do hope you pick up their story some time in the future. Even it's only to explore this bit:
> 
> “Will you please stop that? I'm not fragile Greg. I don't want you to panic every time I ask something, or want to do something sexual. I don't like penetration, at least not when I'm getting it.”
> 
> So I hope this is sort of a dream come true.... ;)  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sherlock had never been this happy and content in his life. Being together with Greg, finally, after years if longing, was heaven.

 

Greg was kind and compassionate. Loving Sherlock for who he really was, weird quirks and faults too. He didn't mind that Sherlock could be awake for days on end. Greg just made sure he ate and drank on time, sometimes sitting together on the sofa and hand feeding him tiny bits of food.

 

Greg didn't mind it when Sherlock didn't speak for hours, or a whole evening. Letting him be in his mind palace till he figured out whatever needed to be figured out.

 

Greg also didn't mind when Sherlock talked non stop, going on a mile a minute about the current case, other people's stupidity or just things in general that were on his mind.

 

Greg didn't mind spending hours and hours of snogging, exploring each other's bodies with careful caresses and light touches, being mindful of Sherlock's wants and needs.

 

And somehow that became a problem for Sherlock. He started noticing a few weeks into their relationship. They'd been snogging for ages, Sherlock licking and biting and teasing Greg lips and body till the man was moaning out his name, hard cock rubbing against his thigh.

 

“Sherlock! Oh fuck! You're perfect Sunshine, the things you do to me. Come here.”

 

And then Greg kissed him gently before cuddling up with him, a big and goofy smile on his lips.

 

It was infuriating! Sherlock knew Greg wanted, needed, more but somehow Greg never asked, batting Sherlock's hand away when he tried to go further.

 

“It's fine Sherlock. You don't have to. Come one, let's watch that movie you didn't totally hate again.”

 

And every time Sherlock let it go, seeing the clear love and affection in Greg's eyes.

 

He knew it wasn't fair, asking so much of the man and not giving back in return. Greg assured him they were fine, that he was fine, but doubt kept nagging in his mind. Every movie, every song, every book talked about love and sex in equal measure and he knew Greg wasn't totally satisfied. He'd heard him one day, getting off in the shower while whispering his name and his heart broke.

 

He wasn't good enough, not meeting up to the standards of a normal relationship and it was only a matter of time before Greg realised it. Either demanding more or going away and Sherlock felt his heart stop at the mere thought of Greg leaving him just because he wasn't providing enough.

He was starting to think Greg didn't want him anymore, not finding him attractive enough. Sherlock didn't hate sex, he just didn't like certain aspects of it and he thought he'd made that clear to his partner. He didn't mind giving, a blow job, a handjob, anything Greg wanted. He was more then willing to try but Greg always stopped it before it even got to that point. He knew Greg wanted more, he knew Greg needed to get off and seeing as Sherlock himself wasn't wanted for that, there was only one solution for this problem.

 

“I think you need to see other people.”

 

It was Friday night and they'd just solved a very complex but interesting case. They were in front of the TV after sharing a meal and some wonderful, earth shattering kisses. Greg between his legs, Sherlock's arm around Greg's waist, feeling Greg's heartbeat against his chest.

His other hand was carding through Greg's hair, still fascinated by it and Greg had started to dose off. Now Greg was wide awake, moving so he could sit up and see Sherlock's face.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Sherlock heard the shock and light panic in Greg's voice, feeling his heart rate rise as Greg's eyes focused on him.

 

“Sherlock, what's this about? Are you breaking up with me?”

 

Greg sounded devastated, his eyes beyond sad and Sherlock reached out, panic starting to grow as he saw the light dim in those beautiful eyes.

 

“NO! No, I'm not breaking up with you. I would never-”

 

“Then why are you suggesting this? Aren't you happy Sherlock? Am I doing something wrong?”

 

Greg looked even more heart broken as time went on and Sherlock felt horrible. Why was this not working?

 

“No, I'm happy but are you? And you need to be honest with me Greg. Are you happy? With this? With me?”

 

Greg looked utterly confused, mouth slightly open, blinking his eyes a few time before speaking slowly and carefully, his eyes glued to Sherlock's.

 

“Of course I'm happy Sherlock. Why do you think I wouldn't be?”

 

Greg took Sherlock's hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss and Sherlock felt a jolt of warmth go through him.

 

“But don't you miss...This?”

 

Sherlock gestured between them, looking down at Greg's crotch and he heard a soft sigh before Greg spoke, a little hint of irritation in his words.

 

“Sherlock, I don't miss anything. I'm more then happy with what we have, with what you're willing to give. Don't you know that?”

 

Sherlock felt himself blush, not really knowing how to make Greg understand so he acted, catching Greg by surprise and claiming his mouth with aggression as he pushed him down, one hand going straight for Greg's dick.

 

Greg let out a sound of surprise before it turned to a moan, hands instinctively grabbing Sherlock's arse and pushing them closer.

 

Sherlock felt a spark of pride as Greg finally kissed him back, licking inside Sherlock's mouth with hunger as his hands squeezed Sherlock's arse. Sherlock broke the kiss, Greg panting underneath him as he locked and bit Greg' neck. He knew what Greg liked to have him moaning and wiggling underneath him in record time, his dick getting harder under Sherlock's palm.

 

He squeezed Greg's dick, making his partner growl and Sherlock took the opportunity to pull out Greg's shirt with one hand, giving another squeeze before his hands slid under and found Greg's nipples.

 

“Sherlock!”

 

Greg arched his back as Sherlock bit his neck and pinched his nipples, Greg's erection pressing against his leg.

 

“Sherlock stop. Oh god, baby!”

 

Greg's hands reached Sherlock's chest, trying to push him off and Sherlock let out a growl of anger, sitting up to straddle Greg, eyes burning.

 

“Why don't you want me anymore?! Am I not good enough?! What am I doing wrong Greg? I don't understand, I don't. Why are you rejecting me again?!”

 

Sherlock felt his eyes sting as Greg moved, sitting up a little more as Sherlock sit sat on his legs.

 

“Sherlock, Sherlock love, what are you talking about?”

 

Greg's hand cupped his cheek and tears spilled. He heard Greg's intake of breath and suddenly Greg was holding him tight, cradled in his lap.

 

“Sherlock love. Please talk to me. What am I doing wrong here? I thought you were happy, I thought-”

 

Sherlock shook is head, clinging to Greg as he tried to stop the tears.

 

“You're not happy?”

 

Sherlock felt the pain in Greg's words and he quickly looked up, shaking his head again as he swallowed, trying to find his voice.

 

“No! I'm happy with you. I love you. But you- you don't- you always stop when we- Argh!”

 

Sherlock let out a yell of frustration, feeling stupid for being so lost for words.

 

“Sherlock, I thought you didn't want sex. Hey, look at me. What do you want Sherlock?”

 

Greg's eyes stood sad but hopeful and Sherlock took a deep breath before stammering on.

 

“I want to please you. I-I don't want you to stop and just cuddle with me. I-I want you. Greg, I want to suck you off, make you come inside my mouth.”

 

Sherlock turned red as Greg held in a breath, hands grabbing Sherlock's.

 

“I've told you before. I like doing those things. I like pleasing you but you never allow me. Are you tired of me? I know our love lie isn't traditional and I know I wasn't totally honest about the penetration thing but if that's the issue then I don't mind you finding someone else to-”

 

Greg cut him off with a heated kiss, setting Sherlock's nerves on fire. When they pulled apart Greg's eyes stood dark and Sherlock couldn't hold the gaze.

“I am not finding someone else. You hear that Sherlock Holmes? I only want you!”

 

“Then why do you keep rejecting me?”

 

Sherlock felt cold at Greg's confused and hurt look but he had to get this out in the open.

 

“Why don't you allow me to please you? I know you need more then just kissing and cuddling. My penis may not function well but I have other body parts that are just as good.”

 

“Sherlock, I've told you, I promised you, to never hurt you again. You don't need to please me, you don't need to-”

 

“Don't you understand?! I. Want. To.” He couldn't hide the hurt and frustration. How could Greg think he didn't want to touch him, feel him, make him moan?

 

“It's true, I don't enjoy sex like you do. But I do enjoy you, seeing the lust and hunger in your eyes as I kiss you. Hearing you moan when I bite your lip or pull your hair. I like the taste of your skin, the way you buck up against me, lost in pleasure because of my touch, my fingers, my mouth.”

 

Sherlock reached out, placing a hand on Greg's thigh and slowly going up, eyes on Greg.

 

“I love the way your whole face changes when I just do this. I love the feel of your growing dick against my hand.”

 

Sherlock went higher, tracing the outline of Greg's starting erection. Greg let out a soft sound, eyes going dark as Sherlock went on.

 

“I like all the sounds you make. The hiss when I palm your dick, the moans and gasps when I lick your neck, the growl when I kiss your nipples.”

 

Sherlock leaned forward, hand palming and squeezing Greg's dick, making the man moan, his eyes falling closed as he reached out.

 

“Sherlock, I.”

 

“It's not about me needing to do something Greg. It's about me _wanting_ to do all those things and more. Please let me.”

 

Greg blinked, eyes unfocused and Sherlock couldn't hide the smirk on his lips.

 

“I don't get an erection, I can't prove that I'm turned on the same way as you can but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, enjoy you. Us. It's so much better cause it's between us and you set my whole body on fire, my mind and soul. I don't want to lose you Greg.”

 

Sherlock stopped, feeling shy as he removed his hand from Greg's crotch. He noticed the small bucking movement Greg did and it made him feel proud, being able to arouse his partner so much with so little. He took Greg's hands in his, placing a kiss on them before speaking.

 

“I want you to be happy Greg. I want you to get everything you ever wanted and I know I don't- that I will never be able to- I can't- But I'm asking you to stay anyway. I know it's selfish and cruel but I can't see a life without you in it.”

 

Sherlock swallowed, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Greg had stayed silent the whole time and Sherlock had a hard time figure out what the man was thinking.

 

“I didn't think- Sherlock,I'm not leaving you. I just wanted to respect your boundaries. I'm not rejecting you, I would never! I just didn't want to upset you or go to fast.”

 

Greg looked pained, reaching out to place a gentle kiss on Sherlock's lips, rubbing their noses together.

 

“Do you really think you moaning and gasping my name will upset me?”

 

Sherlock frowned as Greg blushed a light pink.

 

“I told you Greg, I'm not fragile. I won't break down every time you touch me or show me you want me. You do still want me right?”

 

“Sherlock! I will always, always want you. I'm so sorry Sunshine, please never doubt my love for you, my longing! I adore you. I just didn't know how to-”

 

Greg shook his head, eyes soft and loving as they found Sherlock's, a little smile on his mouth.

 

“I will never demand anything. I'm not leaving Sherlock, I can't see a life without you by my side. I don't need someone else to 'scratch the itch'. I have you, other body parts and all.”

 

Sherlock huffed, feeling shy as he remembered his earlier words.

 

“I don't need anything else Sherlock, I don't care if you can penetrate me or not. Like I've told you, sex can be many different things and we will find out own likes and pleasures. I'm sorry I made you doubt my love and want for you. I want you every day, every second, I love you so much Sherlock. Please, never doubt that again.”

 

Greg leaned forward, capturing Sherlock's mouth and setting Sherlock on fire with his tongue.

 

“Please forgive me Sunshine. It's you. Always and forever.”

 

Greg pressed his forehead against Sherlock's, breathing each other in before Sherlock pulled back, a smile on his face and a glint in his eyes.

 

“You're an idiot Greg Lestrade, of course I forgive you. Now, will you let me have my way with you?”

 

 

 


End file.
